Birthdays

Birthdays are a tricky thing. I mean maybe to some people the answer is really obvious, but maybe not to everyone. I’ll admit that for a few years in my life I had difficulty celebrating my birthday, and I’m sure there’s a lot of people out there who wouldn’t understand why. I’ll tell you why…but it’s depressing. I didn’t have any friends, so I felt as if having a birthday party would emphasize the fact that no one cared about me, since no one would show up. Well not even that, I didn’t even have anyone to invite. But since then, I’ve worked hard to tell myself that I’m worthy of a birthday party. Everyone is. But now I’m almost worried that I’ve gone too far and now my expectations are too high. Where’s the middle ground? I’m always curious to see how my friends and their friends decide to celebrate their birthday. Some people go to a LOT of trouble planning, others wait until the last minute. For me, it’s really interesting to see how other people do it, because it shows what they think of themselves. Maybe I’m reading too much into it? Could it be true that the people who wait until the very last minute to make plans and invite friends just don’t know what they want in life? Does it mean that they’re lost and searching? Could it be true that the people who spend more than enough time planning take themselves too seriously and need to go with the flow? Are they unhappy with letting things unfold on their own?